It’s Finally Over

[chauffeured]

[cont from here]

Sybil didn’t know what to say to that. He had changed everything. It was supposed to be easy. Her family needed the connection the Duke’s family could have provided. But it just didn’t feel right. It hadn’t for awhile now, and Sybil couldn’t live like that.

“I don’t know what my parents are going to say. Or my grandmother,” she said a little defeated. “I just didn’t want to hurt anyone. I didn’t want to feel like this.”

Comments

[irishradical]

"Before any of that, it's your life," he repeated, although his meaning was different now. "And you've made a decision, for yourself, that ends a chapter in it. Try to give yourself time to feel that, consider it, mourn it, even, before you worry about everyone else. You do enough of that every day, give yourself a night."

[chauffeured]

It still felt like her insides were breaking, but she knew he was right. It made it feel like she was actually allowed to feel this. Her ex wasn’t a bad guy, and he did really care for her. It could have been a good life, but it always felt forced. Her feelings felt forced. The longer it went on, the more she felt it. The closer she got to Tom, the more she felt it.

“How do you feel about it, Tom? Honestly?” She asked him. She shouldn’t, but she needed to know.

[irishradical]

"Oh, sweetheart. You shouldn't worry about that tonight either." It was the only answer he could give, and for that reason, he honestly hadn't really let himself think about he felt about it yet. This, with her upset in the back of the car, was far from the time to go on about any hopes or thoughts or feelings he had. It'd be selfish, to his point of view, unfair at the least and cruel at the worst.

[chauffeured]

The fact that he wasn’t happily dancing or even outwardly happy at all said something. He wasn’t cruel. She wanted more of an answer than that, but she didn’t have the energy to insist on one. “Can we just go somewhere?” She asked. She just wanted to be somewhere with him, to rest her head on his shoulder and let her feel this in its entirety. It’s going to be a long, emotional morning when she had to call the wedding off to the rest of her family.

[irishradical]

"Anywhere you like. I mean it, whatever you need." That much he could say now, easily, it was as important to him that she knew he'd do what he could for her regardless of anything else as it was that he didn't take advantage.

[chauffeured]

“I don’t think I could go home, yet,” she tried to hold back what tears felt like they were coming before she wiped at her eyes. “I don’t know.”

It was hard to think. She just wanted not feel like this. “We could sit outside somewhere. I still have a few mini whiskeys, vodkas, and I’m not really sure what else.” She told him, lifting her purse to hear the bottles clink around.

[irishradical]

"You don't have to."

"There's a park near here, about five minutes." God, it killed him, to see her like this, so he stepped on the gas a bit more. At least he could be next to her. "I've got a blanket in the trunk."

[chauffeured]

Even through the slightly blurry vision, she couldn’t help the laugh. Of course Tom had a blanket in the trunk. He always seemed to have everything she needed. “Why am I not surprised?” She said out loud, smiling again. “That sounds nice.”

[irishradical]

"It's good to be prepared. Have a change of clothes, too, and a couple books just in case I ended up stuck somewhere." Oh, what a relief, to hear her laugh, even now.

[chauffeured]

She tried to rub at her eyes covertly, still managing a half smile at this. “You always are so very prepared. For anything,” she replied back, looking back outside for a moment. He somehow always seemed to have the answers, be the person she needed the most when anything happened.

[irishradical]

"You don't have to hide it. I know it doesn't exactly come naturally, but you don't have to hide it. Or anything." He'd considered not saying it, but there's only so much he could not say in one night. Letting that sit, he turned off the road into the park, following the lane until he saw the first nice open spot.

[chauffeured]

She always had to be dignified, so hearing that had her exhaling a small sob. “I don’t want to feel like this,” she told him. It was the reason she had put off breaking up with him for so long. It just felt completely crushing, though she didn’t feel alone right now at least.

[irishradical]

What was there to say to that, really? Instead, he came round the car, opening her door and holding out his hand, "I know. Come here."

[chauffeured]

She took his hand, trying to be brave and strong, but really all she wanted was to be held, to be reassured, and she knew he was the only one who would do that. Sybil was worried if her older sisters would judge her, and her parents and grandmother certainly wouldn’t be happy. So when she got out of the car, her purse rattling with the mini bottles of alcohol, she sort of curled into his chest, just wanting to be close.

[irishradical]

"I've got you," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her snug, "I promise."

So much for not telling. He'd wanted to comfort her, hold her, since she'd climbed into the car, and that overruled anything else.

[chauffeured]

She kept her head on his chest, feeling the silent tears roll down her cheeks. Maybe she shouldn’t enjoy the feeling of his arms around him, how it just felt right, or the way his coat smelled like engine oil. Her hands wrapped around him. Was it bad to take actual comfort in being held by another man when she may have crushed someone else’s heart?

[irishradical]

"That's it, love, let it go," cliche it may be, but he's aiming more for soothing tones than content, and he's certainly not going to resort to other cliches like 'it's okay.'

[chauffeured]

She wouldn’t mind anything he had to say right now. At least she wasn’t alone, crying in the hotel room. She was with him now, and that was all that really mattered. Sniffling a little, she pulled away from him just enough to look up at him. “You’re always there, Tom,” she spoke softly.

[irishradical]

What's he meant to do when she's looking up at him except promise her the world? "I always will be," he promised, quite helpless and honestly not concerned about it.

[chauffeured]

She felt that all familiar feeling in her chest rise up. It was hard not admit it. Her initial reason for leaving her ex was that she didn’t feel the same way. She couldn’t marry someone she didn’t love. It didn’t matter how long they waited. It didn’t matter how often her family would tell her “it will come”. The truth was her heart had always belonged to someone else.

[irishradical]

"Ready to go sit?" He asked, trying for a smile that said reassuring more than besotted. They could stay here, honestly, if she wanted, for another few minutes, or the rest of the night, however long.

[chauffeured]

She straightened quickly and pulled away just long enough to wipe at her face, hoping she didn’t cry all over his coat. Oh, she felt like a mess, and he was right. They should go sit down. No one would come out this far. “Yeah,” Sybil replied.

[irishradical]

"We don't have to," he offered, gentle. "We can stay like this too."

[chauffeured]

“It’s okay,” she said, sobering up for a moment. At least she didn’t have to keep trying to make it work with her ex, when she knew she would rather be right here with him.

[irishradical]

"Alright." Reluctantly, he lets go of her to grab the blanket out of the trunk, but since he has to, he can at least run a hand down her arm and squeeze her hand first. Somehow, it Serbs much more cold when he steps array from her, more than it should.